2018 Goals

goals

Hi everyone!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year. I have been rather quiet on my blog, vlog, social media over the first festive period since my mam died. I concentrated on spending time with my family and trying to relax. Although Arthur has been up at 4am every day so I feel like I need another week off work to recover.

Today I am going to write down my goals for 2018 and share them with you. If they are written down it will hold me accountable for them.

2017 was one of the best (a full year with my little Arthur) but also the worst as my mam sadly passed away, aged 55, in March.

So I’ve set myself some important goals for 2018 in the hope that I can get my life back on track and be happy again. I will never be able to move on and it will never become easier. But I am slowly learning how to cope with the tragic loss.

Goal 1 – Get organised.

Now it’s January I am back to work full time after only going back 3 days after my maternity leave ended. I also have a 1 year old and I’m a single parent. I have been sssooooo stressed out about how I’m going to manage as Arthur only goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and I think the only thing I can do is get organised. This means writing everything down in my diary, getting Arthur’s clothes, nursery bag etc packed the night before. Planning meals and writing shopping lists. Tidying as I go. Ironing as I go. I also got a Google Home for Christmas which is great at reminding you to do stuff and telling to write shopping lists for you. If anyone has any hints and tips for me please comment below and help me out.

Goal 2 – Loose weight

After having Arthur just over a year ago and then loosing my mam and eating takeaways after getting home from the hospice every night for quite a while I am still not back to my pre pregnancy self. So goal #2 is to get back to my pre pregnancy weight and tone up. I started Slimming World in June last year and I am already well on my way but dreading the post Christmas weigh in on Thursday.

Goal 3 – Take more care in my appearance

This may sound vein but I have found myself in a habit of throwing on the first clothes I find, tying my hair on my head and heading out the door with no makeup on. I’m not one to care much about appearance. I get my hair cut once every 6 months and my face/eyebrows/eyelashes are all my own. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have the time to go and get my eyelashes done, my brows shaped and waxed and my hair cut and dyed a lot more regularly, but I really don’t have time. But over the Christmas holidays (when my sister has been home to watch Arthur while I get ready instead of him pulling at my leg while I’m brushing my teeth) I have taken an extra 10 minutes every day to put a little makeup on and run the straighteners through my hair and I have felt a lot better for it. And after the year I’ve had, I’m up for anything to feel a bit better.

Goal 4 – Socialise more

As a single mum I don’t get out….at all. I have no husband to stay home and look after Arthur while I go for a pint of milk, never mind a night out. But I do realise that I do need to socialise a bit more. So I am going to invite friends over for dinner every now and then after Arthur goes to bed. I am also going to try and find a single parenting group where I can meet up with other single parents and their little ones. Finally, I am going to ask my dad to baby sit one Saturday night every month and go out for dinner with my friends. I can’t handle a night out with a toddler to contend with on my own the next day with a hangover (and I am such a lightweight that my hangovers are horrendous) so going for dinner after Arthur is asleep means I get out of the house, it won’t cut into my time with Arthur and I can really switch off.

 

So there you have it. My 4 goals for 2018. I hope that by making a conscious effort to stick to these that I will feel happier, be healthier, be more relaxed and not feel like I’m just getting by. I hope they give me a purpose and something to make me feel proud of myself. What are your goals? I’d love to hear them!

Teething

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I feel like I have totally neglected my blog and vlog over the last week or so. The reason….I have a teething 1 year old who just won’t be out down. Luckily, he’s just gone for a nap and up to now all is quiet but I’m not holding my breath that he will stay that way for long.

Arthur has had a really tough few months. It all started at the beginning of October when he had Croup. The cough still hasn’t 100% gone and he’s been on and off with a cold since then. Then he had his 12 month injections last Friday which knocked him to pot for about a week. Just when he got over that his molars have decided it’s time they start niggling their way through.

So what do I do when teething starts? Well, there’s nothing much you can do. My wisdom tooth came through a few weeks ago and I was up all night taking pain killers and stealing Arthur’s Anbesol so what chance does a baby have? I wish I could take it away.

Now it’s his molars he’s the worst he’s ever been and he has a sore bum and is running a bit of a temperature (38.8). Regular Calpol, Anbesol and Ashton & Parsons powders is the only thing to take the edge off. It’s also handy to remember that they hurt more when they lie down. So when your little one goes to bed on a night don’t be surprised if they want to be picked up constantly. They just feel more comfortable when they are upright. Last night I had to prop myself up on lots of pillows and Arthur slept on me, tummy to tummy. I got no sleep at all but at least he was a touch more comfortable.

Now, all I can do is hope they come through quick. Poor baba!

 

Feeling guilty because I didn’t feel guilty about having a night out!

IMG_0211So it’s the Monday morning after the weekend my sister was visiting from London. We had tickets to go and see Mamma Mia at the Sunderland Empire. These tickets were actually bought for a Christmas present for my mam last year and it’s safe to say we were dreading it. Looking at an empty seat in a show about a mother and daughter was probably a bit much after our mam died in March.

All 4 of us (dad, sister, baby and I) all went for a meal before the show. Dad dropped us off at the theatre and then brought Arthur home to put him to bed. We had a Bramble (pictured above at the Fat Buddah in Rhyope, Sunderland) with dinner and a few drinks in the show. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been out without Arthur so I was waiting for the guilt to hit me when I jumped out of the car and left him crying (just from tiredness) in his car seat. The guilt didn’t come.

It was the first time since he was born that I’ve actually spent any time with my sister with no baby needing my constant attention.  It was nice and after the year we’ve had we both really needed it.

The show was AMAZING. The male dancers were fantastic. Jill Halfpenny was playing Sophie’s mother and she was amazing. It was funny and I was laughing my head off. Then she was getting her daughter ready to be married and I glanced at my mam’s empty seat next to me and it’s safe to say I turned into a bit of a wreck. I composed myself and enjoyed the rest of the show after a half time Vino!

Sisters

If anyone is thinking about going to see it then GO! My mam always used to say that the best stress reliever is the theatre or the cinema and as always, she was right!  Get your tickets from: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/mamma-mia/

Once the show finished and my sister had a nature wee in a back ally (when she needs to go she needs to go there and then) we had an hour to wait for the next bus home so we grabbed a quick drink and had a lovely natter.

It was the first time I’ve been away from Arthur and not felt guilty. But then I started feeling guilty that I didn’t feel guilty. When we become mother’s why do we do this to ourselves? From leaving him to getting back home was 4 hours and he had been in bed asleep for 3 of them. Until this weekend I can’t remember the last time I did something for me.

I am sitting here about to do some work (I work from home) and I’m making a promise to myself. I’m going to start to think about me a little more. Arthur is number 1 in my life but that shouldn’t stop me being and treating myself as number 2. There’s nothing wrong with asking my dad to babysit once in a blue moon so I can go and see my friends without Arthur. I don’t know why I have though this is a bad thing for almost a year. I can put Arthur to bed and go out for a few hours knowing he is in safe hands and he won’t even know I’ve gone.

So, from today this changes. No more feeling guilty if I don’t feel guilty for having some me time. Because there’s just absolutely no reason to feel that way!

Hi!

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So my first blog post. The idea of starting a blog has been something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while. The pros and cons have been playing around in my head and I’ve quite often talked myself out of it thinking that people will think I’m stupid. But then I thought I’ve got a lot to share so I might as well give it a go.

I’ve had a pretty tough time since Arthur was born in November 2016. The road to him arriving was rocky after going through the last 6 months of my pregnancy with no baby daddy. I was extremely lucky to have an amazing family and fabulous friends who supported me unconditionally. But it didn’t help going back to an empty house every night, worrying if I would be a good enough mam and getting everything ready for my impending arrival on my own (with severely bruised ribs from a very long legged, active baby) and with raging hormones. As far as that goes I had nothing to worry about.

My beautiful mam was my rock and my best friend and she jumped at the chance of being my birthing partner. I was induced at 41 weeks and had a difficult 21 hour labour ending in an episiotomy (ouch) and venturous. Nobody tells you about the painful recovery from an episiotomy so that was a very unwelcome surprise. Arthur arrived safely on 9th November and I suddenly felt complete. I moved in with my mam and dad for 2 weeks after Arthur was born so they could help me in those early days. I was in new born bliss.

Fast forward a few weeks and the week before Christmas we received the devastating news that my mam’s Myeloma had returned. I’m not going to talk about it as it is still very painful but she sadly passed away in March. I moved back in with my dad so he wasn’t alone as my sister lives in London.

So after a heart breaking, devastating, life altering and painful 7 months here we are. My blog. The good, the bad and the ugly about dealing with grief and looking after a baby on my own, how Arthur got us through, what we get up to, how I carried on and put a smile on my face every day for Arthur. It’s been difficult. It’s been exhausting. But I’m here and ready to talk.

I hope you all enjoy.

Sophie (MamaB) x