Feeling guilty because I didn’t feel guilty about having a night out!

IMG_0211So it’s the Monday morning after the weekend my sister was visiting from London. We had tickets to go and see Mamma Mia at the Sunderland Empire. These tickets were actually bought for a Christmas present for my mam last year and it’s safe to say we were dreading it. Looking at an empty seat in a show about a mother and daughter was probably a bit much after our mam died in March.

All 4 of us (dad, sister, baby and I) all went for a meal before the show. Dad dropped us off at the theatre and then brought Arthur home to put him to bed. We had a Bramble (pictured above at the Fat Buddah in Rhyope, Sunderland) with dinner and a few drinks in the show. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been out without Arthur so I was waiting for the guilt to hit me when I jumped out of the car and left him crying (just from tiredness) in his car seat. The guilt didn’t come.

It was the first time since he was born that I’ve actually spent any time with my sister with no baby needing my constant attention.  It was nice and after the year we’ve had we both really needed it.

The show was AMAZING. The male dancers were fantastic. Jill Halfpenny was playing Sophie’s mother and she was amazing. It was funny and I was laughing my head off. Then she was getting her daughter ready to be married and I glanced at my mam’s empty seat next to me and it’s safe to say I turned into a bit of a wreck. I composed myself and enjoyed the rest of the show after a half time Vino!


If anyone is thinking about going to see it then GO! My mam always used to say that the best stress reliever is the theatre or the cinema and as always, she was right!  Get your tickets from: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/mamma-mia/

Once the show finished and my sister had a nature wee in a back ally (when she needs to go she needs to go there and then) we had an hour to wait for the next bus home so we grabbed a quick drink and had a lovely natter.

It was the first time I’ve been away from Arthur and not felt guilty. But then I started feeling guilty that I didn’t feel guilty. When we become mother’s why do we do this to ourselves? From leaving him to getting back home was 4 hours and he had been in bed asleep for 3 of them. Until this weekend I can’t remember the last time I did something for me.

I am sitting here about to do some work (I work from home) and I’m making a promise to myself. I’m going to start to think about me a little more. Arthur is number 1 in my life but that shouldn’t stop me being and treating myself as number 2. There’s nothing wrong with asking my dad to babysit once in a blue moon so I can go and see my friends without Arthur. I don’t know why I have though this is a bad thing for almost a year. I can put Arthur to bed and go out for a few hours knowing he is in safe hands and he won’t even know I’ve gone.

So, from today this changes. No more feeling guilty if I don’t feel guilty for having some me time. Because there’s just absolutely no reason to feel that way!

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