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So my first blog post. The idea of starting a blog has been something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while. The pros and cons have been playing around in my head and I’ve quite often talked myself out of it thinking that people will think I’m stupid. But then I thought I’ve got a lot to share so I might as well give it a go.

I’ve had a pretty tough time since Arthur was born in November 2016. The road to him arriving was rocky after going through the last 6 months of my pregnancy with no baby daddy. I was extremely lucky to have an amazing family and fabulous friends who supported me unconditionally. But it didn’t help going back to an empty house every night, worrying if I would be a good enough mam and getting everything ready for my impending arrival on my own (with severely bruised ribs from a very long legged, active baby) and with raging hormones. As far as that goes I had nothing to worry about.

My beautiful mam was my rock and my best friend and she jumped at the chance of being my birthing partner. I was induced at 41 weeks and had a difficult 21 hour labour ending in an episiotomy (ouch) and venturous. Nobody tells you about the painful recovery from an episiotomy so that was a very unwelcome surprise. Arthur arrived safely on 9th November and I suddenly felt complete. I moved in with my mam and dad for 2 weeks after Arthur was born so they could help me in those early days. I was in new born bliss.

Fast forward a few weeks and the week before Christmas we received the devastating news that my mam’s Myeloma had returned. I’m not going to talk about it as it is still very painful but she sadly passed away in March. I moved back in with my dad so he wasn’t alone as my sister lives in London.

So after a heart breaking, devastating, life altering and painful 7 months here we are. My blog. The good, the bad and the ugly about dealing with grief and looking after a baby on my own, how Arthur got us through, what we get up to, how I carried on and put a smile on my face every day for Arthur. It’s been difficult. It’s been exhausting. But I’m here and ready to talk.

I hope you all enjoy.

Sophie (MamaB) x

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